Casgliadau Arlein

Oral history recording with Diana Soffa collected as part of The Hineni Project, an insight into the life and stories of a Jewish community in all its diversity. Hineni was a collaborative project between Cardiff Reform Synagogue and Butetown History & Arts Centre.

I was born in 1950 in London where my father was a medical student and my mother a dress designer. We moved to Cardiff when I was five because it had always been the family plan that my father would join his father in the general practice in Cardiff. I went to Our Lady’s Convent School because my parents felt it was important that I knew something about other religions. We were very regular synagogue attenders; maybe it was because we only lived a few hundred yards from the synagogue. My first experience of synagogue was a Purim party, and being made terribly welcome by two charming and very petite ladies whom I called aunties. I started cheder at six and still have friends from that first class. Later on I also taught in cheder. From a very early age, I used to go along with my mother, who was active with the Ladies Guild, which in those days was the backbone of the synagogue. It arranged all the social functions and was responsible for the kiddushim, children’s services, Chanukah parties and adult social things. I would make sandwiches and helped out at the garden party. I was in different employment but ended up as a fashion buyer, first at Evan Roberts and then at David Morgan’s. I consider I had a very successful career – a dream job. What woman wouldn’t like to go off spending money on clothes all the time? I stopped doing that after I married Stanley because I couldn’t cope with being the glamorous fashion buyer and having a young family. We used to go to synagogue as a family. I’m sure the children considered it their second home as the community was such a big part of their lives and has always felt like a big family to me. When I look round the community now, I miss the people I grew up with. Spaces appear like a mouth with teeth missing. We were very lucky to have such a rich and diverse community. Because I’m older, I’m probably one of the characters in the community now. For many years I’ve been involved with inter-faith work. I think it’s very important that we’re there to answer questions because it’s being a stranger that makes people think you’re different. I’ve been involved in the synagogue school trips and adult education, and it’s still surprising to me that people came in and expected us to look or behave differently because we don’t anymore. Our lives are just like anybody else’s. I would say we are a very integrated community. If you’re showing a child enough of their Judaism at home, encountering other religions and other faiths isn’t a problem. I never felt any different being Jewish. It’s only, as I’ve grown older, I realise how culturally Jewish I am and how rich the heritage is. It is like the air you breathe, it’s a way of life. You don’t realise it’s a way of life until you compare it with what other people are doing. Having a very culturally Jewish family, we used to argue a lot but it was actually debate, not disagreement. I’ve always loved history. It is such a rich, cultural heritage, and you can just go back and back and start picking out the pieces; the fact that you can flick open the Lamentations or the Psalms and think people were thinking and feeling that all that time ago. I would definitely miss it if I couldn’t do that.